Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
