1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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