i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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