Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize