Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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