After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
