I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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