i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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