and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
