what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
