so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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