I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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