so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
