anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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