I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
