Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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