Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
