well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize