I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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