I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize