She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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