Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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