We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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