hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
