I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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