How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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