Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Are we still banned from the library?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
