Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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