so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
