Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
