Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
