Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize