Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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