i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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