btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize