I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
