they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Your cock deserves a montage
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
