I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
