Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
