super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
