If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
