is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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