i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
