The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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