i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
