It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
