Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize