I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
