i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
