This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
