they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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