I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize