We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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