My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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