I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
