Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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